i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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