Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
