I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
