I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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