id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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