ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
