So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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