We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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