dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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