Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
