:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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