Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
