My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
