You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
