I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
did you just send me my own nude
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
