I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
