On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize