Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize