i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
