Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
