Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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