Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
