We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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