well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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