Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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