tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
