Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.