What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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