brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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