Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

dude, you're being a jerk.

(919): View more from North Carolina

sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney

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(704): dude, you're being a jerk. (919): sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney http://tfl.nu/o9rt

Replies (6) Good night (1014) Bad night (623)
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(585): View more from New York

i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"

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(585): i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!" http://tfl.nu/obrk

Replies (30) Good night (1409) Bad night (4471)
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(443): View more from Maryland

hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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(443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"? http://tfl.nu/cmo1

Replies (23) Good night (1443) Bad night (5641)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining

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(304): i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining http://tfl.nu/3fon

Replies (9) Good night (5478) Bad night (834)
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(650): View more from California

This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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(650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6

Replies (12) Good night (6708) Bad night (1026)
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(817): View more from Texas

despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds

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(817): despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds http://tfl.nu/p6zs

Replies (29) Good night (1062) Bad night (3765)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.

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(615): The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted. http://tfl.nu/wtc2

Replies (4) Good night (3258) Bad night (1083)
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(503): View more from Oregon

We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.

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(503): We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first. http://tfl.nu/hwjj

Replies (12) Good night (3491) Bad night (1065)
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(989): View more from Michigan

I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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(989): I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it. http://tfl.nu/prf6

Replies (14) Good night (5160) Bad night (1089)
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(404): View more from Georgia

im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it

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(404): im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it http://tfl.nu/4p1k

Replies (4) Good night (2220) Bad night (614)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.

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(+44): I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly. http://tfl.nu/kesy

Replies (11) Good night (2566) Bad night (810)
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(586): View more from Michigan

dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"

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(586): dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit" http://tfl.nu/jnwo

Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (396)
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(775): View more from Nevada

he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever

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(775): he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever http://tfl.nu/oimy

Replies (4) Good night (302) Bad night (868)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.

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(848): Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me. http://tfl.nu/oekv

Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (186)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.

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(732): I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it. http://tfl.nu/3399

Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (140)

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