Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.

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  (618): In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it. http://tfl.nu/dx0b
  Replies (4) Good night (3313) Bad night (1011)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  well i fucked her too, so yes.

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  (484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes. http://tfl.nu/6v2h
  Replies (91) Good night (1619) Bad night (9230)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

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  (678): nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women http://tfl.nu/ny5s
  Replies (11) Good night (5072) Bad night (3093)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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  (203): Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line http://tfl.nu/4rr4
  Replies (11) Good night (1690) Bad night (5230)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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  (267): So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from. http://tfl.nu/6xgn
  Replies (14) Good night (3801) Bad night (1265)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

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  (785): i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love. http://tfl.nu/j8m9
  Replies (29) Good night (9800) Bad night (1629)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?

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  (802): Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin? http://tfl.nu/zb3y
  Replies (20) Good night (3161) Bad night (1004)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.

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  (610): Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun. http://tfl.nu/afxx
  Replies (5) Good night (2309) Bad night (791)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.

  (254): View more from Texas

  He's majoring in Religion

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  (254): I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka. (254): He's majoring in Religion http://tfl.nu/gx54
  Replies (9) Good night (2612) Bad night (748)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

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  (503): I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan? (1-503): yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case. http://tfl.nu/ztrg
  Replies (1) Good night (1412) Bad night (771)
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  (585): View more from New York

  if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.

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  (585): if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes. http://tfl.nu/m1eq
  Replies (8) Good night (2283) Bad night (974)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?

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  (336): Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank? http://tfl.nu/yo0k
  Replies (4) Good night (970) Bad night (797)
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  (559): View more from California

  Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch

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  (559): Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch http://tfl.nu/0nmy
  Replies (7) Good night (784) Bad night (552)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.

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  (423): I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay. http://tfl.nu/or95
  Replies (2) Good night (959) Bad night (311)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.

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  (570): Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan. http://tfl.nu/akru
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (529)

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