Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)

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  (414): But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;) http://tfl.nu/bfcm
  Replies (3) Good night (1720) Bad night (690)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

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  (303): Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom. http://tfl.nu/w3y3
  Replies (2) Good night (1268) Bad night (524)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome

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  (414): i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome http://tfl.nu/01jd
  Replies (36) Good night (9756) Bad night (750)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?

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  (412): Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container? http://tfl.nu/it9b
  Replies (33) Good night (5916) Bad night (1270)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?

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  (214): I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him? http://tfl.nu/482n
  Replies (88) Good night (1020) Bad night (9986)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

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  (201): Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/vsxr
  Replies (13) Good night (4747) Bad night (967)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight

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  (615): I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight http://tfl.nu/tvrj
  Replies (31) Good night (6735) Bad night (1753)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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  (937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1164) Bad night (2981)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.

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  (207): My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad. http://tfl.nu/6faf
  Replies (8) Good night (4530) Bad night (1113)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.

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  (727): This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade. http://tfl.nu/uwxc
  Replies (3) Good night (1403) Bad night (827)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  They took my balls.

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  (575): They took my balls. http://tfl.nu/tyz5
  Replies (11) Good night (378) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick

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  (812): This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick http://tfl.nu/hypd
  Replies (1) Good night (242) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shit is preposterous

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  (610): I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans (610): Shit is preposterous http://tfl.nu/iova
  Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (315)
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  (858): View more from California

  Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?

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  (858): Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we? http://tfl.nu/fuxn
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (204)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!

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  (808): It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint! http://tfl.nu/hn06
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (242)

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