look no pants
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect