Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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