She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night