She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she looked like the before picture.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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