I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
