What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
