She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
