Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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