My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
