Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
