how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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