it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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