Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
