i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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