so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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