Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i dont even know how to be here
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
