Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people