oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
