Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
