i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
