Just fell off a train. Bad.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
