Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
