i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm sobbing to NWA
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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