dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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