Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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