11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
