...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
