dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She bit a glass in half.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
