I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
