READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
