I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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