hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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