How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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