Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
