Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
