we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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