The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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