can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
