Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize