OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize