trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
