In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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