Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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