i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
