either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
