I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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