Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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