Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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